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23 September 2004 @ 12:06 am
now_ish The bitter ending.  
This was probably the hardest decision I ever came to decide.

I decided to just leave everything behind, that way they wouldn't notice my departure until I was long gone. I even made the choice on leaving Waffles with Connor -- silent hoping he'd remember me after all this and maybe possibly not be mad. I'm sure he'll understand after time, I know I do, this is just.. the best. I'm not much help to the group anyway.. the First didn't need to tell me that, not the greatest friend either no matter how hard I try, and with these feelings developing for Connor? How could Mr. Giles possibly think I can stay away from him?

I know I have to. And knowing me, I know I couldn't.. which is why I'm leaving. For good. Not trying to be self pity or anything, but I honestly think the only people who would notice is Connor and Lisette. Maybe Mr. Giles.. only because of the recent talk I had with him. I'll call them all later when I arrive home.. just to let them know I'm okay and probably do a buttload of apologizing.

I really.. really.. did not want to go. Something was telling me to stay. I chose to ignore this though, it was just my thoughts and feelings.. something I really couldn't have right now.

With forced determination I slipped out of my bedroom -- quietly -- praying I wouldn't run into anyone I know. Seems like not many were out so hey -- successful deal right here. Good. Now time for the hard part. I waited a little bit by the door and watched a handful of girls walk by me and few others.. and just right when no one was looking, I snuck out with nothing but the clothes on my back.

No one called after me.. or chased me.. so I think I finally did it.

You're doing the right thing, Safi -- the right thing. If it was right why did I feel so bad? Gah! Stop thinking. My sight finally settled to the darkness and I looked over at my surroundings. The streets were dark and it was even quiet.. deserted like a ghost town. I had to make my way quick to the pay-phone and pray that Mom and Dad are still in Los Angeles. I know if I asked they'd pick me up.. I just hope they're still here.

If not, I'll call Mr. Brown, I'm sure he'll understand after I explain the details. Watchers have the knack of.. understanding eachother, and if I told him the reasonings of my departure, all I'd have to do is wait at the airport for my flight.

I hope.

"You better know what you're doing, Safi.." I told myself out loud as I walked along the streets, my eyes snapping to each and every movement I could catch at the corner of my eye. Hell no was anything sneaking on me -- NO. I quickly rushed myself when I found the nearest pay-phone and I closed the door, feeling my heart thump loudly inside my chest. I couldn't help but remember about Marissa when she was out here.. NO, no bad thoughts! All this was doing was scaring me.. and if I kept acting like this, surely something bad would pick it up. Time to keep your cool, girlie.

Shakily with a lump trapped inside my throat, I pushed the quarters in and frantically dialed my parents' number. I listened to it ring on the other line.. again, and again.. and again. I know it's late but COME ON. Hello? Daughter here! "C'mon.. pick it up.. pick it up.."
Current Mood: crushedcrushed